It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
