so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Floor bacon is actually really good
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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