yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize