you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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