Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
