yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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