Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
