The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
