too bad you live with your parents still
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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