he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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