my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
