Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
