dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
