It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is Oprah even human
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
