Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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