Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
