Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
