Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
