Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
