operation harelip BJ is a go
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
