the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
