I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
