Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
