Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
