please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
