ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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