She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
