I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
