Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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