Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
