So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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