Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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