Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
