somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
