Umm I'm too high to move.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
