wrigley field is MILF paradise
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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