thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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