I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
