Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
