I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
