We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
