She's JV to your varsity
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
