The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
