We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
