i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
