saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
