She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize