Kiss
Puke
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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