We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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