Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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