I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
