Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
