i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
