Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
