You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
