; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
