somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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